I got walked over

Saturday was Matt & Kynan’s 30th birthday. We celebrated at Lake Sammamish Park where, apparently, registered parties may legally consume alcohol. I played badminton, I played croquet, I ate two hamburgers and I drank beer. Oh yes, did I drink beer.

As dusk fell, we gathered the picnic together and four of us (Matt, Erika, Chris and myself), all headed over the luxurious Motel 6 just right across the street. Earlier in the day, my brother Bert fatefully put an idea in my head.

The Joker. No, not Bert, but the bar, The Joker. This beautiful strip mall bar is located in the heart of Issaquah, just a short 1.75 mile jaunt from our accommodations that evening. Since it was Matt’s birthday and we were already staying in a hotel, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to take a walk down the street and join the locals. As we arrived, it was your typical suburb bar scene – pull tabs and neon everywhere. In those places, I always have the overwhelming feeling that I’m in the fast food restaurant of bars, where it’s hard to escape the abundance of plastic cups and plastic furniture. But enough of The Joker – I drank beer, I spilled beer, I decided to talk to random people – nothing new there.

On the way home, well, that’s a different story. You all know that a typical night of drinking with Erin involves her falling over in some way or another. This night was no different from that fact, except for the reaction I received.

For some reason, along the way I became fascinated by an orange construction sign on the side of the road. I think I attempted to side-kick it, or maybe I just looked at it. Either way, I fell over. As everyone laughed at me and Chris pulled me up, an Issaquah Law Enforcement Car pulled up as well. The female officer got out of the car. We all stopped in amazement.

She took one look at me and said:

“Have you had anything to drink tonight, Miss?”

I just had to be perfectly honest with the woman, so, with a smile on my face, I responded:

“Quite a bit”

I don’t remember if anyone laughed. But she sure as hell didn’t. She asked for our IDs. I couldn’t get mine out of my wallet. She pulled it out easily with a little smirk and the comment of “well I’m the sober one.” No shit, Sherlock. I can’t even get it out of there when I’m sober, lady.

Another cop pulls up. The boys laugh. Erika and I wave.

The female officer asks us the typical questions. Why are you in Issaquah. A party at the park. Where were you coming from? The Joker Pub Where are you going? We rented a room at the Motel 6 down the street.

She was absolutely bewildered by the fact that four people were drunk and responsible. It was great. After her astonishment subsided she looked over at her colleague, shrugged and said to me, “try not to fall in the street anymore.”

And that was that. I got walked over. Somehow, I’m always in trouble with the damn law.