I got walked over

Saturday was Matt & Kynan’s 30th birthday. We celebrated at Lake Sammamish Park where, apparently, registered parties may legally consume alcohol. I played badminton, I played croquet, I ate two hamburgers and I drank beer. Oh yes, did I drink beer.

As dusk fell, we gathered the picnic together and four of us (Matt, Erika, Chris and myself), all headed over the luxurious Motel 6 just right across the street. Earlier in the day, my brother Bert fatefully put an idea in my head.

The Joker. No, not Bert, but the bar, The Joker. This beautiful strip mall bar is located in the heart of Issaquah, just a short 1.75 mile jaunt from our accommodations that evening. Since it was Matt’s birthday and we were already staying in a hotel, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to take a walk down the street and join the locals. As we arrived, it was your typical suburb bar scene – pull tabs and neon everywhere. In those places, I always have the overwhelming feeling that I’m in the fast food restaurant of bars, where it’s hard to escape the abundance of plastic cups and plastic furniture. But enough of The Joker – I drank beer, I spilled beer, I decided to talk to random people – nothing new there.

On the way home, well, that’s a different story. You all know that a typical night of drinking with Erin involves her falling over in some way or another. This night was no different from that fact, except for the reaction I received.

For some reason, along the way I became fascinated by an orange construction sign on the side of the road. I think I attempted to side-kick it, or maybe I just looked at it. Either way, I fell over. As everyone laughed at me and Chris pulled me up, an Issaquah Law Enforcement Car pulled up as well. The female officer got out of the car. We all stopped in amazement.

She took one look at me and said:

“Have you had anything to drink tonight, Miss?”

I just had to be perfectly honest with the woman, so, with a smile on my face, I responded:

“Quite a bit”

I don’t remember if anyone laughed. But she sure as hell didn’t. She asked for our IDs. I couldn’t get mine out of my wallet. She pulled it out easily with a little smirk and the comment of “well I’m the sober one.” No shit, Sherlock. I can’t even get it out of there when I’m sober, lady.

Another cop pulls up. The boys laugh. Erika and I wave.

The female officer asks us the typical questions. Why are you in Issaquah. A party at the park. Where were you coming from? The Joker Pub Where are you going? We rented a room at the Motel 6 down the street.

She was absolutely bewildered by the fact that four people were drunk and responsible. It was great. After her astonishment subsided she looked over at her colleague, shrugged and said to me, “try not to fall in the street anymore.”

And that was that. I got walked over. Somehow, I’m always in trouble with the damn law.

Yeah, I still got it

Last night, when I was walking home from the bus, I passed another stop with a older man waiting patiently.

As I walked by he said "Have you seen this bus go by?"

I told him "no" since I was on a bus myself moments earlier, but informed him that that particular bus was usually about ten minutes late at night. Since I'm way too nice and when someone starts talking I usually have a hard time walking away, I ended up chatting with him for the next 5-7 minutes.

Our conversation then went something like this:

Him: So do you like living in the CD? I grew up here on 17th and Yesler.

Me: Yes, my husband and I are loving it. We just bought our first house.

Him: Are you renting?

Me: No, we just bought a house.

Him: What do think of the prices at the Red Apple?

M: The prices are fine, but the selection is horrible. I usually go to the Safeway on 23rd.

H: What about the chicken there? Is the chicken any good?

M: Not sure, but if I want good chicken I just go down the street to Ezelle's.

H: EZELLE'S! That place is great. I have a coupon for it. But it's a coupon for the one in Everett. I don't understand why the gave me a coupon for the one in Everett.

M: Probably because they want you to give them business up there. To make both locations successful.

H: But it's the Ezelle's in Everett. What about the one down the street?

M: I would assume they already have enough customers at the one down the street - that's why they offer the coupon for Everett (I just learned about promotions in my class earlier that evening).

H: Oh. Hm. Do you like Jones's BBQ?

M: Yeah, I love it. The one on MLK? Did you know they have on Lander now?

H: Yeah and another one in Issaquah. What do get when you eat there?

M: I don't know, usually the brisket

H: Me too, I love me the beef brisket. I get like 2lbs while I'm there

I'm trying to politely walk away at this point

M: Okay, well have a good night

H: Do you want to go get some Jones's BBQ with me sometime? I have a coupon for there too.

OKAY RANDOM - I need to stop being so nice.

I SO TOTALLY still have it. So what if I get hit on by an old man at the bus stop wanting to spend big money on me at the Jones's BBQ. I bet he'd let me ride in style too - on the bus, of course.