Upside-down, jerked around.

Being unemployed is like being on a rollercoaster with your eyes closed.

As I've gotten older, real rollercoaster rides have become more fun, because riding with eyes open allows me to at least somewhat prepare myself for the next loop or sharp turn. As a child, I never opened them and therefore, I never knew what to expect. Sheer terror one moment would transform into a calm melancholy the next, and then everywhere in between for the remainder of the ride.

That's how it feels being unemployed. While working, I would dream about days that I got to just sit around and do nothing. Or fantasize about finally finishing that one project or taking all of those walks that I promised myself I would one day do. But when all is said and done, being unemployed isn't fun.

First off, you have no money. And no money means that you can bug your friends to go out drinking on weeknights with you because you don't have to wake up early the next day. Plus, it's not college, no one wants to go out multiple times during the week anymore.

Secondly, you begin to become obsessed with daytime television. I find myself referring to something "Martha did the other day" and quoting Tyra Banks. It's kind of sickening, really.

Third, finding a job really, really sucks. All of my positions in the past have been kind of handed to me. This is the first time I'm really having to pursue work with nothing in the hopper. And in Week 7 (yes 7) of being unemployed, you begin to really second guess everything about yourself. It's the opposite of Stuart Smalley ("I'm NOT good enough, I'm NOT smart enough, and people DON'T like me). I know this is getting extreme, but when you get as bored as I am, these thoughts really start swimming.

But to look on a much brighter side, I get to go to Billy Joel tonight! As I type, I am adorned in the 1982 Billy Joel concert t-shirt David Bickley gave me when Chris and I got married (thanks David!) and listening to "Uptown Girl."

Also, old episodes of The X-Files in mute is really, really weird. I think I may try it with Dark Side of the Moon playing along with it next...